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Kimmy's Lousy Luck

In celebration of the upcoming festival of shamrocks and luck, it's once again time to subject the official ErotiKInks holiday hump toy, Kimmy, to her latest humiliation.

To read more of Kimmy's unfortunate adventures, you can find her being enslaved by Santa in The Magic of Forgotten Sluts or falling for the worst guy in school in Kimmy and Cupid's Arrow.

Kimmy the reusable holiday hump toy

Kimmy did not believe in the luck of the Irish. She did not buy into shamrocks, bedecking herself in green, or giggling stupidly and pinching others. Most of all, Kimmy did not believe in a tiny man, who wore a silly hat and enticed fools to chase after rainbows in search of a pot of gold. Kimmy did not believe in these things because Kimmy was eighteen-years-old, and those notions were for kids.

What Kimmy did believe in, was masturbating frequently to thoughts of cockteasing men. She did not give in and have sex with these men but got herself off to the thoughts of their blue balls and the image of their painful, swollen erections. Kimmy cockteased her teachers, wearing short skirts and going without panties. She cockteased the delivery men, answering the door in towels or her bras and panties. Kimmy cockteased her brother and her father, laying splayed on the couch in tiny thongs that molded to her plump little pussy. She teased her friend’s fathers and brothers, wearing too-tight tops that displayed her round, balloon-like melons.

Kimmy went to bed on March 16th, after jilling her twat to the memory of cockteasing her gym teacher. Gym class was boring and stupid, but Kimmy did enjoy using it as an opportunity to cocktease a large group of men at one time. The shorts the girls wore in gym class were far too short and tight. Kimmy wore them without panties, which made the shorts adhere to the cleft of her pussy. She frequently needed to ensure her shoes were tied, as safety was important, and bent at the waist with her ass out to fiddle with her laces.

This act would, invariably, result in a chorus of lusty groans and adolescent erections, as the young men in the class took in the sight of her obviously aroused cunt through the thin shorts. Kimmy also wore no bra during gym class, and her pussy only got wetter as the young men ogled her bouncing jugs. Her gym teacher, too, couldn't resist a lusty look at Kimmy's body. Kimmy took special care to ensure he always got an eyeful, and the sight of his obvious bulge in his shorts was what Kimmy got herself off to on this particular night.

When Kimmy awoke, it was St. Patrick's day. She prepared for school just like any other day, with little fear of being pinched or giggled at for not wearing green. That was not a concern. It was stupid.

With her brother still in bed and her father off to work, Kimmy prepared a light breakfast of oatmeal and fruit. While she munched on her breakfast, she scrolled her latest TikTok uploads, giggling at the drooling comments. Kimmy was fond of using social media to further cocktease those she didn't know and had many videos of herself lip-syncing to trashy hip-hop songs while bouncing her braless melons in skimpy tops. It was whilst she was cackling at one particularly sappy comment that a sudden wind ruffled her hair and drew her attention to the sight of a little gnome, who had magically appeared on the tabletop.

"What the fuck!" Kimmy exclaimed, dropping her spoon and launching herself backward from her chair.

The chair banged against the floor and Kimmy stumbled.

"Oy! 'Allo, Kimmy darlin'!" The gnome said and trotted to the edge of the table. "Ye' may'be wantin' to watch yer step. 'S a bod dee to go breakin' a leg!"

"What the fuck?" Kimmy said again, "You… you're not real. I'm dreaming!"

The gnome cackled and said, "Ye mightn't believe'n me, Kimmy, but I believe'n you! 'S a fine dee to be believin' in such things's good fortune, eh?"

Kimmy shut her eyes and willed herself to wake up, but it didn't work. She pinched herself, which felt very real. When she opened her eyes again, the gnome, wearing his silly hat, grinned through his red beard.

"Do ya want'sum good fortune, Kimmy?" the gnome asked.

Kimmy did want good fortune, but she really wanted to wake up even more.

"I'm dreaming," she repeated.

"No, yarn't," the gnome said and did a little back spring, landing in the center of the table.

He doffed his green hat, waved it about, and a magical rainbow came through the window to light on the tabletop. The air shimmered and the table groaned as a black cauldron winked into existence. Gold coins glittered in the rainbow light. The gnome climbed up the side of the cauldron, took a coin in his hands, and threw it to Kimmy. She caught the coin and stared at it. It felt real.

"This pot'o gold ken be yers," the gnome said, "if ya jus' honor the traditions'o Saint Patty's dee."

The gnome vaulted off the pot of gold and landed on the table. He wiggled his ears and the coin vanished from Kimmy's hand and landed back in the pot with a metallic clank. The cauldron shimmered, the rainbow vanished, and the gold was gone.

"That's so dumb," Kimmy said. "No one believes that crap. "But, let's just say I want the gold. What do I have to do?"

"Why, ye' jus' rely on yer luck, o'course! When ya' honor tradition, yer luck'll be good! When ye' don't, yer luck'll be bad! Make it through'the dee with more good than bad, and you'll have yerself a pot'o gold! I'll tag along."

The gnome vaulted from the table and lighted on Kimmy's shoulder with a chuckle. Kimmy rolled her eyes and set the chair right, trying to ignore the illusion on her shoulder as she left for school. The gnome hummed an Irish jig in her ear as she drove, which Kimmy found so annoying.

No one in the hallway commented on the little man riding on Kimmy's shoulder, which made her feel like she might be going off the rails. She got to her first class and, when she stepped through the doorway, her foot kicked the door stop away. The door slammed shut behind her and Kimmy felt a jerk and heard a tear of cloth.

Everyone in the class looked up and laughed as Kimmy turned around to see that the door had shut and closed her skirt in it. When she'd taken a step, the skirt had been torn off, and she was standing in front of the entire class in her pink panties.

Kimmy gasped and blushed, dropping her bag, which landed on her foot painfully.

"Ow!" she cried and clutched at her foot, bending over to show the class her ass.